Dealing with rejection is one of the hardest things in life in general. Whoever wants to be rejected? Dealing with it goes hand in hand with dealing with the doubt demon. And the doubt demon is attracted to artists, since these are usually the sensitive ones that have a hard time dealing with rejection and self-doubt.
From the feminist writer Virginia Woolf to renowned cartoonist Charles Schulz, these artists have experienced handling rejection and doubt one way or another. When Stephen King was writing his masterpiece Carrie, the doubt demon came to him and led him to throw his work into the trash bin. Thankfully, his wife Tabitha was there to pick it up, and motivated him to continue his good work and stop doubting himself and fight forward in dealing with rejection.
Sad to say, unlike Stephen King some writers do not have a Tabitha to encourage them to keep on moving when handling rejection and doubt. This causes them to question themselves, to ask what the heck are they doing, are they good enough, are they just wasting their time and efforts, and is dealing with rejection face to face worth it.
Handling rejection and other doubt problems may be difficult when faced alone. As an experienced writer for several years already, I hate to break it to you but as harsh as it may sound, you cannot please everyone with your writing. And it’s not because they are unkind (maybe some), but maybe because they are just going through something in their life that they don’t want yours to be ideal and happy.
Dealing with rejection will always be part of everyone’s life and cannot be avoided. One of the key offenses is to surround yourself with the right kinds of people. As Brenda Ueland put it, “The only good teachers for you are those friends who love you, who think you are interesting, or very important, or wonderfully funny.” These are the kinds of people you should be surrounding yourself with whenever dealing with rejection and doubt:
The Key People to Stick With When Dealing With Rejection
- That someone who is always positive
Whenever you deal with rejection and you tell your story to this person, he will tell you, “No don’t feel bad it’s not you, you just sent your manuscript to the wrong editor or publisher. You should try again.” If someone instead says, “If you always get rejected and you are not good in dealing with rejection, then perhaps you should reconsider your writing dreams.” Then run away fast from this person. Artists should get ready to receive a lot of constructive criticism, and must face these with positivity instead of wallowing and sulking when dealing with rejection.
- That someone who is always happy
Happy people are so much contagious. These are the people you should stick to when you’re handling rejection. If they are always ranting about their job or about their problems in life, and if they cannot lift their own spirits then it might be hard for them to lift your spirits too. Like what they say, “Misery loves company.” So don’t go for miserable people. Go for the happy ones.
- That someone who can make you feel good
Whatever comes your way, they too are very energetic and encouraging as they see how much sweat, blood, tears and effort you put into your writing. In general, they are also passionate about what you are passionate about. When there comes a time when you get on a slump along the road, these are the people you should call on to for help, and for sure they always have something great to say. They should make you feel good about yourself, and if they don’t cross them off this list.
Dealing with rejection and self-doubt is definitely hard to do, so you need to arm yourself with the right defense – that is, surrounding yourself with good vibrations, coming from the right people who only want what is best for you.